Brandy's Braces, SARPE, Jaw Surgery Journal

This is my daily journal to my eventual perfect smile and Apnea free life. It logs my surgeries, and daily progress.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Surgery Envy? Is that a Freudian thing ya think? or just Orthognathic insanity??? I'm sure this sounds a bit crazy. I mean who in their right mind would be excited, or actively anticipating having lower jaw surgery?? However, several of my oral surgery buddies are scheduled for their respective jaw surgeries coming up in the next month or so. One on January 31st, and two on February 9th! I must admit that I'm a bit jealous, or rather envious, well ok....a little of both! I want to have mine done too! I hate that I have to wait til the end of May for mine to be done, its so not fair.

Now I realize that on a positive note I will have lots of blogs, info, and personal accounts to help me be more prepared for my actual surgery date, but some how that is not making me feel better right now. I just want to get it done and over with and May feels like a freakin eternity away! Maybe I should do it over Spring break (in March) and use up all my sick leave (63 hours worth) then go back to work for a month and a half before summer break. I just hate waiting! Patience is definitely not one of my virtures! Ughhhh!


  • At 8:49 AM, Blogger Mary said…

    Hey Brandy, we got your cold weather from Alaska, it was 40 degrees on my walk this morning, brrr! Anyway, I think an argument can be made for either option but when I doubt I would say, stick with your original plan. A few months more isn't really that long and will go by fast. I think the most important aspect of healing after surgery is the resting part. I went back to work after only two weeks and really regretted it. This surgery really does take a toll on the body (ie your immunse system), especially when we aren't that young anymore. So if you have the option to have lots of time to rest afterwards, that might really be the best thing for you, even if it means waiting a few extra months. Ultimately the best decision is the one that makes the most sense. Its funny that you write about feeling envious, that's how I felt when you told me you would have to summer off to rest. And I know what you mean about wanting to have it over with -- I had to wait a year to schedule my surgery and then it was postponed for two months.
    Regards, Mary

  • At 10:40 AM, Blogger Brandyleigh35 said…

    Hey Mary,
    Thanks for the reply, yeah I think I will stick with my original plan. I don't want to have to go back to work if I'm not feeling well. I could've done it at 2 weeks after my SARPE but it would not have been easy. I took 3 weeks off for it, and still found it difficult to talk for long periods of time etc. Plus I see no need to waste 62 hours of sick leave when I can wait a few weeks long and not have to spend them. You never know what might come up so I would like to have some hours if I need them.

    I do feel fortunate that I will have the summer off to recoup, and I can understand that for someone who works a regular job with no breaks 3 months to recover probably sounds like heaven. I just feel like it is dragging on. While my braces do not really bother me, it seems lately that I'm just ready to get them off! I'm trying to resign myself to another full year of treatment and recovery but right now that feels like a long time! I just want it to be done already.

    I can't complain though, as you have already done much longer than I just by having to wait so long for your surgery! I bet you were so ready to get it over with too!

    I will just suck it up and bide my time....sigh...

    Wishing you Well!


  • At 12:32 PM, Blogger Mary said…

    Yeah, its that whole "hurry and and wait" thing. In the meantime, you can enjoy your life and enjoy eating (to the extent one can with braces). Its kind of a human condition thing to want to get things over with and sometimes it seems to me that we are wishing our lives away. Every day is precious is a lesson that has stuck with me when my close friend died from breast cancer. So, enjoy the winter and the spring and, even your surgery. As difficult as it was, those weeks post surgery were somehow a very special time. Hope you are digging out from all that snow! M

  • At 3:25 PM, Blogger Mrs. Shanton said…

    I'll trade you dates. No, but really, May will be here soon. Perhaps you're having one of those days. I had one the other day. I think, too, it's a post-vacation phenomenon. It was for me. As I was trying to get back into my routine, I got in the shower and put my head into the spray, and felt this sense of disorientation. I couldn't put my finger on it, I was, hmmm...something...oh, yes. I was waiting. I'm waiting. For? Waiting for surgery. THEN life will be back to "normal." I'll walk more, eat better, take on new projects. I'm waiting. Do you feel that way? It comes and goes. And yet, if you read my latest entry, I'm having doubts, like you did, too. *sigh* I suppose it's all normal. Whatever "normal" is.

  • At 5:32 PM, Blogger Graham said…

    I'm with you Steph. I seem to have put too many things on hold until after surgery. I'm too much of a hermit lately. Must do something about that.

  • At 11:13 PM, Blogger Brandyleigh35 said…

    Hey Steph,
    Yes perhaps you are right that I'm jsut having one of those days, and it could very well be some kind of post vacation phenomena! I mean really my braces don't bother me, but its like I just want them off. I want to be normal again (whatever that is.)

    I do feel that everything is centered around surgery,and having been through the SARPE I'm ready to just press on and get to the healing part. I'm 9 months post op and still things are not normal. I still have some numbness in my front left incisors, and I keep getting sinus infections. Which I sure hope are going to go away eventually once and for all. Maybe then I would feel less frustrated.

    Either way, I just feel like I want to be done and May just feels like 5 more months that all of this is being drug out. I'm all about having all my pain, and as much done as possible at one time so I can get it all over with and move on. Hopefully with a more functional bite/ and no sleep apnea, oh...and most importantly very minor or zero numbness.

    I just think the anticipation now is starting to take a toll on me,and perhaps that is what is going on with you also.


  • At 3:30 PM, Blogger Amy said…

    Hi Brandy,

    I didn't think this day would get here and now I'm ---GAH!--- less than 3 weeks from having surgery. I understand how you feel about wanting to get this done and "move on". I was very impatient about this too. However, I did wait for my surgery date to fall at the right time. I could of pushed to have surgery in 2006 and been done, but I wanted to enjoy my holidays, work was very busy and it really did go by fast. End of January came sooner than I expected and May will be here sooner than you know. As my day gets closer, it may seem like an end in some ways..but really there is still so much to come. My mom gave me the best advice. Just take it in stages. Each stage mark as a milestone. Celebrate the little stuff each marker as you get to the end goal. It sure helped me not feel so overwhelmed by the time this has taken.
    You won't regret having the summer to recover. I'm taking 5-6 weeks and not feeling guilty one bit. My job is fast paced, demanding and stressful. I know I won't do any benefit pushing myself to come back early. I envy you for having so much time off :)

  • At 7:51 PM, Blogger Brandyleigh35 said…

    Hey Amy,
    Yes your time has gone fast (at least from my perspective) and I'm sure with the actual surgery date looming in the very near distant future that the nerves are starting to set in.

    I'm sure I will feel the same way when May gets here, but I do think your moms advice is right on. I'm trying to do just that, take it one step at a time and appreciate the process. I do feel very fortunate that I will have the summer off to recover and know that most people are not afforded that luxury.

    I'm really not a very patient person, so I'm using this as a time to sorta work on that. Good things come to those who wait and I know if I quit focusing on it the day will be here before I know it. I do think as an adult though, it is harder to endure this whole journey, and accept the fact that it could take longer than anticipated.

    I'm very excited for you though! I can't wait to follow your updates and see how you are doing. You are going to look so wonderful, and finally your teeth will be like they are supposed to! YEAH!!!!



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