The Love of a Child!
I was talking to my son last night on the instant messenger. We do that most days when he is at his dad's house so that even when we are apart we can still talk and stay connected.
My son is going to be 15 in June. He is a wonderful kid and while he is not the type to really wear his heart on his sleeve, he and I share a very special mom and son bond. We were discussing my now official surgery date. The conversation went something like this.
Me: So I have an official surgery date as of today. May 24th at 7:30am. The day after school is out.
Son: O rly?
Me: Yep, it's all set, I will have to spend at least 2 maybe three days in the hospital afterwards though, as its considered major surgery.
Son: oh
Me: I'm hoping it will only be 2 though.
Son: oh
Me: So do you even care? LOL...
Son: OF COURSE I CARE...... you could DIE!
Me: Are you worried about me?
Son: YES!
Me: Wow...really honey, it will be fine. I'm not going to DIE....I have way too much to live for. I plan to be around to see you graduate, get married, have kids.....I plan on being around for a very long time!
Son: That is good! But...
Me: Really I have read lots of accounts of this surgery, and researched it a ton. I have never heard of anyone dieing from it. My surgeon has been doing this for 30 years, plus there will be another surgeon in there with him, if I experience any complications I will have two very capable doctors there to take care of me. I don't want you to worry....you mommy will be fine! This is routine surgery for them.
Son: Ok
Me: I might look like a giant puffer fish, for a couple weeks. Actually it is very similar to my SARPE, just a bit more involved. They will be making incisions in the exact same locations they will just be releasing the whole piece this time instead of just fracturing it.
Son: oh..ok.
Me: It is still 2 months away....lets not worry about it until we have to ok? I will be fine, I'm tough, and I love you.
Son: Ok.
So, I supposed I have been so involved with my own internal drama concerning the nerves and fear that I hadn't noticed my sons concern. My darling son is a typical boy, so good at being cool, keeping his real feelings hidden (as at his age, it is so not cool to wear them on your sleeve anyway.) We are very close so I'm not at all surprised, but now I feel even more stressed knowing he is worrying about me not coming back. I just want to hug him and tell him it will all be ok. I'm going to really focus on helping him feel better about this over the next couple of months.
It is sortof ironic as his father has been in the hospital for a couple of different surgeries..ie gallbladder, and knee. and our son was very calm, in fact when I asked if he was worried he said no. He just isn't as close to his father as he is to me. Don't get me wrong, he loves his dad, but they don't have that "special" bond like he and I do. I know for myself if anything were ever to happen to him I would never be the same. I really think I would totally and completely fall apart. He is the same, doesn't show it as much, but he is definitely mama's boy.
Anyway....he is my little Angel...a gift from the heavens for sure! I just love being a mom, and love my boy more then life itself....there's nothing greater then the love of a child.
My son is going to be 15 in June. He is a wonderful kid and while he is not the type to really wear his heart on his sleeve, he and I share a very special mom and son bond. We were discussing my now official surgery date. The conversation went something like this.
Me: So I have an official surgery date as of today. May 24th at 7:30am. The day after school is out.
Son: O rly?
Me: Yep, it's all set, I will have to spend at least 2 maybe three days in the hospital afterwards though, as its considered major surgery.
Son: oh
Me: I'm hoping it will only be 2 though.
Son: oh
Me: So do you even care? LOL...
Son: OF COURSE I CARE...... you could DIE!
Me: Are you worried about me?
Son: YES!
Me: Wow...really honey, it will be fine. I'm not going to DIE....I have way too much to live for. I plan to be around to see you graduate, get married, have kids.....I plan on being around for a very long time!
Son: That is good! But...
Me: Really I have read lots of accounts of this surgery, and researched it a ton. I have never heard of anyone dieing from it. My surgeon has been doing this for 30 years, plus there will be another surgeon in there with him, if I experience any complications I will have two very capable doctors there to take care of me. I don't want you to worry....you mommy will be fine! This is routine surgery for them.
Son: Ok
Me: I might look like a giant puffer fish, for a couple weeks. Actually it is very similar to my SARPE, just a bit more involved. They will be making incisions in the exact same locations they will just be releasing the whole piece this time instead of just fracturing it.
Son: oh..ok.
Me: It is still 2 months away....lets not worry about it until we have to ok? I will be fine, I'm tough, and I love you.
Son: Ok.
So, I supposed I have been so involved with my own internal drama concerning the nerves and fear that I hadn't noticed my sons concern. My darling son is a typical boy, so good at being cool, keeping his real feelings hidden (as at his age, it is so not cool to wear them on your sleeve anyway.) We are very close so I'm not at all surprised, but now I feel even more stressed knowing he is worrying about me not coming back. I just want to hug him and tell him it will all be ok. I'm going to really focus on helping him feel better about this over the next couple of months.
It is sortof ironic as his father has been in the hospital for a couple of different surgeries..ie gallbladder, and knee. and our son was very calm, in fact when I asked if he was worried he said no. He just isn't as close to his father as he is to me. Don't get me wrong, he loves his dad, but they don't have that "special" bond like he and I do. I know for myself if anything were ever to happen to him I would never be the same. I really think I would totally and completely fall apart. He is the same, doesn't show it as much, but he is definitely mama's boy.
Anyway....he is my little Angel...a gift from the heavens for sure! I just love being a mom, and love my boy more then life itself....there's nothing greater then the love of a child.
posted by Brandyleigh35 @ 12:32 PM
5 Comments:
At 1:53 PM,
Anonymous said…
Brandy - Hello, I'm new to your blog but not to Orthognathic Surgery. I had a BSSO SetBack of 6mm last July to correct my underbite; in fact, tomorrow is my 8-month anniversary of my surgery!WooHoo! I would like to email you privately - is your email address Brandyleigh@msn.com? Mine is dmd13cyto@yahoo.com and my name is Diane, and used your link on Cary's blog.
At 7:18 PM,
Mrs. Shanton said…
Aw. You know, kids are pretty resilient. I would just be very matter-of-a-fact that this is pretty routine and that you're excited and not worried. Then he won't need to worry, and he can laugh at you when he sees you with big huge cheeks! He'll be alright. He sounds like a sweetie-pie. There is something really special about a mother-son bond, isn't there?
At 12:59 PM,
Bill said…
Brandy, kids often have a hard time expressing their concerns about one parent to the other. It's great that you and he have such a tight bond ... like Stephanie said, just be up front with him (like you've been) about the routine nature of these procedures and I've no doubt both of you will come through swimmingly. :)
At 1:44 AM,
Shontelly said…
Hi Brandy,
Just 2 months away huh? Excited?!I'm new at being a mom so she's not old enough to express concern but when I leave the room and she follows me I feel the love. :)
You guys are going to get through this and it's going to make your bond even stronger!
At 6:25 AM,
Mary said…
Hey Brandy, that is so awesome that you have a surgery date! Its a mere 2 months away and its going to go by really quickly. Soon you will be posting post-surgery photos, can't wait! And I'm sure your son will be right there helping with your recovery. Mary
PS--it seems to me that the genioplasty is indeed necessary for the surgery to be successful. Perhaps you can get your doctor to write a letter to that fact so the insurance will pay. Mine did and the whole surgery is excluded from our policy.
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